Let’s be real, Tinder is f*cking weird. You feel shallow doing it, but yet it’s kind of an ego boost and you have already succumb to the fact that almost everything you do is online. So, why not? But an ego boost no matter how you graph it doesn’t justify how many *FACE, PALM*’s I’ve done since being apart of this social media spin of online dating. Like this:
….really? I know the phrase “I can’t” is thrown around a lot in chick language these days, which probably annoys you to some degree…but, I can’t EVEN with this shit sometimes. Which brings us to story time…My first (and only) Tinder date:
I’m going through my usual swiping of a million “flannels, beards, look at me with this fish I caught, or this outdoorsy thing I’m doing, or this IPA I’m drinking” or there’s the “look at me in this wedding I was in, here’s a shot of me that I stole off of [insert whatever club’s] website, and I obviously went to U of O because here I am tailgating”. Swiping, swiping, swiping and finally come to a dude who stands out in this sea of guys who all seem the same. Edgy and tattooed with a photographic personality I vibe with. Everything about this dude was sexy. We match. Awesome. He messages me using swear words as adjectives. My favorite. A week and a half goes by of texting before we meet in person and at this point, I’m feeling this dude. Come to find out he’s currently dating someone I know (because we all know Portland is the biggest small town on the planet, so of course he’s dating someone I know). “She thinks it’s a lot more serious than it is”, he says. HOLD UP. This girl thinks that you’re her boyfriend and meanwhile you are actively on Tinder searching for someone new which brought you to this date with me? Fan-f*cking-tastic. Annd I’m done.
I will, however, give Tinder two thumbs up for the random encounters I’ve had. Such as the time I matched with a guy that I met seven years ago when I was living in Vermont (whom I hadn’t seen nor talked to since 2008) who was a pro snowboarder passing through Portland on a tour bus. That was tight.
All and all here’s my two cents of a girl’s perspective for guys on Tinder: don’t be creepy, let your photos stand you out, and don’t Tinder when you’re taken.
I’ll be over here trying to meet people the old fashioned way.